Reviews"Achieves the sensation of being hit by a hip, humorous train. . . . Breaks mold after mold in hilarious fashion." The New York Times From the Trade Paperback edition.
Table Of ContentA Brief Parody of a Talk Show That Falls Apart about Halfway through The Spirit of Christmas The Briefing: A Play in One Act On the Implausibility of the Death Star's Trash Compactor Preview of Summer Camps Comments Written on Evaluations of My Speech on Needle-Exchange Programs The Newest from Jokeland Excerpts from My Speech on Forest-Fire Prevention As a Porn Movie Titler, I May Lack Promise I Know What You Did Two Moons Ago (The Revenge) Words That Would Make Nice Names for Babies, If It Weren't for Their Unsuitable Meanings Reviews of My Daydreams Insomniacs! I Bring Words of Hope and Wisdom The Ten Worst Films of All Time, as Reviewed by Ezra Pound over Italian Radio Group Mobilization as a Desperate Cry for Help Fire: The Next Sharp Stick? Not Very Scary Movies Candle Party It's Not Actually a Small World Unused Audio Commentary by Howard Zinn and Noam Chomsky, Recorded Summer 2002, for The Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring DVD (Platinum Series Extended Edition), Part One Canceled Regional Morning TV Shows A Letter from Ezra Pound to Billy Wilder, 1963 Journal of a New COBRA Recruit A Logic Puzzle and Hangover Cure Some People Don't Like Celebrities Tips from Jokes and How to Tell Them, Published in 1963 How Important Moments in My Life Would Have Been Different If I Was Shot in the Stomach No Justice, No Foul Actual Academic Journals Which Could Be Broadway Shows If They Had Exclamation Points Added! My Beard, Reviewed The Name Game Circumstances under Which I Would Have Sex with Some of My Fellow Jurors The Bet The Dance Lesson Attack of the Fabulons! Pirate Riddles for Sophisticates A Short Fictional Passage Entitled "Drift Nets," in Which Several Enterprising Characters Troll the High Seas, Exploring Abandoned Trade Vessels for "Pirated" Goods, and Learn to Cope with Distinct Personalities in a Close-Knit, High-Stress Environment Ineffective Lines Deleted from Final Revisions of Violent Box-Office Hits A Graceland for Adolf Trinity Pop Quiz Bad Names for Professional Wrestlers Evidently, It Was Live Then Upcoming Titles from Gavin Menzies, Author of 1421: The Year the Chinese Discovered America Good Westerns, Not Porn Norse Legends Reference Pages Goofus, Gallant, Rashomon Not-Good Titles for Romantic Films Black, Gray, Green, Red, Blue: A Letter from a Famous Painter on the Moon Lists Alternate Titles Proposed for This Book Contributors
SynopsisNow more than ever, Americans are troubled by questions. As sweaty modernity thrusts itself upon us, the veil of ignorance that cloaked our nation hangs in tatters, tattered tatters. Our "funny bones" are neither fun nor bony. Glum is the new giddy, and the old giddy wasn't too giddy to begin with. What can be done to stop this relentless march of drabbery? Not much. Nothing we can think of. It's pretty much too late. The light of August turns to the overcast skies of autumn, and the taunting sting of winter cannot be far ahead on the highway of the road on the horizon. Who can sing a song without words? Maybe Bobby McFerrin, but is there anyone else? Where do we go when the party is over? Perhaps the afterparty. But what comes after the afterparty? Questions, there are so many questions, and then some queries, arriving via fax. To these we respond in the only way possible: Talk to the hand, because the face ain't listening. Nevertheless, we present the pages within as an offering of peace, as a message of hope, and as a perfumed hankie of love-a hankie drizzled with the intoxicating aroma that has only one name: ha-ha-oopsie.
LC Classification NumberPN6165.C74 2004